Thursday, February 26, 2009

One-Thousand Faces

I saw 1000 faces when I closed my eyes last night
1000 faces I have known
Most of them have long been left behind
Some of them remind me of home

And I wondered where they all came from before we crossed paths
And I wonder where they have gone
And I wonder where I'll be heading when tomorrow comes
And I wonder how long this life will go on

Lately this body has been feeling a little strange
Lately it's been bending under stress
Lately I've been thinking how I should change
And all the things I've done under duress

Well, I just need to rest a little while
Just need to try to catch my breath
When the miseries of life start closing in on you
You need to rise above all of it

Well, I learned how to smile when I got bad news
Learned how to keep a poker face
Learned how to make the best of everything
Learned dignity and how to take setbacks with grace

I learned how to salvage just enough to go on
Pick up the pieces I need
But the voices outside my window are closing in
Don't want to navigate by greed

Well, I sat in my room as the sun went down
To quietly recharge my batteries
You can eventually succeed in this elusive life
If you're not willing to accept failure easily

Well, I walked by 1000 faces today
Tomorrow I will see 1000 more
And they'll whisk me off to sleep when I get home at night
One thousand faces waiting by my door

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Fear of Falling

I dreamed of fear and falling
Imagined worried voices calling
As I fell I heard them weep
For a short-lived life I could not keep

And as I plunged I felt their sorrow
Thought of tears they'd cry tomorrow
Knowing I could not be there
The depths of all hopeless despair

The blackened images of the night
That when all alone can cause us fright
Fear of being left out in the cold
Fear of sickness and growing old

But then I thought as I descended
Why mourn for that which can't be extended?
As no one can live here on earth forever
There's something we can meditate on that's better
Dying is only for this bodily shell
No one can kill the self-eternal

Just then my heart filled with great hope
And as my body fell I began to float
My mind no longer thought blood red
The joy of hope ran through my head

Instead, realized knowledge based on love and trust
Shined down upon my eyes of rust
And penetrated deep within
My heart felt peace and my face grinned

And as the final melancholy was rejected
I awoke to happiness resurrected 

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Nothing Doing

He's staying up but the day's long gone
He's got no power to sing another song
His stretching out is interrupted by yawns
But he's holding on

His sheets are semi-clean and cool
His pillows are piled up around this fool
Whose damned habits have got him schooled
But he's stubborn as a mule

The DVR clock reads one a.m.
It's far too late to phone a friend
The day was nothing doing again
But he doesn't want it to end

Beastie Breath

Dui pade pashu*
Flared nostrils, sharp claws
Canine teeth protruding
Out of hungry drooling jaws

Trembling voice
Calling out for a plate
"I want my flesh and blood
and I will not wait."

Animal deals
Blood-stained meals
Leg-licking and breast-biting
Tell me how does your corpse feel?

Does it give delight to your tongue?
As you tear skin from the bone
Make a graveyard of your belly
Do you ever hear the ghosts groan?

Two-legged animal
Polish your veneer
As you sharpen your knife and fork
For the taste of murder you hold dear

Wiggle your tail
Alert your two pool-black eyes
Reflections of a dormant soul
Longing dumb-down surprise


*Sanskrit term for two-legged animal


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Disappearing Gnomes

The fan is spinning
And I'm here all alone
Every thought in my mind
Is like a disappearing gnome
Sometimes I wonder how everything's led me here
Sometimes I'm still haunted by those recurring fears

The light bulb just burnt out
And my cell phone just died
For every ten times I've laughed
There's been a heavy time I've cried
I've been trying to put it all into perspective
I've had many theories that I've long since rejected

Every year's gone by faster
Though every year is the same
Every pleasure gone too far
Has led to some kind of pain
I've been trying to get off the bodily plane
But my inevitable death is still not making me sane

You know that I've tried
To love you my best
Though I think that I've proved it
There's always another test
You can live your whole life as a productive person
But what have you got when your skills slowly worsen

I've always tried to give myself
And I longed for real love
Although my desires
Have not fit my life like a glove
So I've simply trudged on
Whenever things got hard
I may learn how to play them
But I don't deal the cards

All my days I've been looking
For the secret manual to life
And though I know that I've found it
I don't want to pay the price
How long will I proceed in this uneasy way?
When it finally comes down to it, what will I have to pay?

I've had my full share
Of good and bad news
I've marked and I've labeled it
I always do as I choose
But when will I see everything in its right place?
Perhaps the day I step out of this winner-less race

Monday, February 16, 2009

It's Going to Be Okay

As it's getting toward the end who can we believe?
When I'm out of focus it gets so hard to see
But when everyone who ever breathes must die
To figure it out may be a waste of time

I don't know
Where all this is going to go
God must know
In the meantime I can only watch the river flow

What the hell have others got up their sleeves?
I believe this paranoia could kill me
If I concentrate too much on the temporary
I could go out of my head with worry

Life is short
And when the truth is the last resort
You can take a snort
Or swing when the ball is in your court

Where the hell is this all going to lead?
It's hard to wait after you plant the seed
But in the end we all get what we deserve
Although it's so hard to let go of what we want to preserve

Day turns to night
When we lose the light
When night turns back to day
We can't help think it's going to be okay


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Where I Ought to Be

I'll take the pure water
That never offends
The mystery of nature
So deep to comprehend
I'll take the root from the earth
And the fruit from the tree
But don't bring the spoils from your slaughter
Anywhere near me

I'll take the King of Knowledge
That brings light to my eyes
I'll bow down to your divinity
As long as I'm alive
I'll take the sounds of the innocent
Defying liar's lips
But don't give me your plea
Or your self-serving trip

I'll take the warm rising sun
In the hopeful dawn
I'll take the grain from the fields
That fuels my body on
I'll take a soft swaying hammock
In the cool evening air
And if you ask for my help
If I can I will share

I'll take a row boat
On a lake plying smooth
I have no need to take chances
And I don't want to be rude
If you've got dare-devil blood
Then go dare over there
The purpose of my life
Includes to take care

If you've got love and devotion
I'll take a spoonful
If you show your true emotions
Then I can deal with you
But if you're a sly tricky knave
Then please go away
I don't need the temptation
There's just so much time in the day

If you've got profound insight
Talk to me a while
If you think things are delightful
Don't be afraid to smile
And if you want to help
Then please remind me
That where I am now
Is where I ought to be

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Emery Melody

Emery the lonely neighbor
Lived across the street of hate
Although the same age as my father
Asked my sister for a date

Emery the grease monkey
Drove up and down the road so hard
I still hear echoes of his tow truck
Dropping junkers in his yard

Emery the crippled-minded
Was paranoid and cheap and mean
The local kids would terrorize him
As he shouted things obscene

Emery the high-pitched talker
Had wrinkles on his forehead
He'd talk to you of all his worries
And the women he'd like to bed

Emery the laid back sipper
Told my Dad his back was bad
As my sweating father mixed the concrete
He drank my mother's lemonade

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Sharpened Wheel

The uncertainty that waits around the corner
The threat of non-existence in the cold still air
No matter what you do, it has its grip on you
The comfort zones that won't always be there

I stepped back from my home and just saw paint and wood
Slowly peeling and rotting before my eyes
A frozen frame in time in sharpened focus
That woke me up to my coming surprise

If I'm happy where I am, what's the commotion?
That causes such a stir inside my empty head
A mutable world in constant motion
Delivering discomfort with the change I must digest

In this darkened pit down here
It's the turning of the sharpened wheel I fear

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Stack o' Jacks

I dreamed I saw Jack Kerouac worn out from his travels
Say "Gargs, me dear friend, don't let your precious life unravel"
Dean said, "Yes! Yes!" as Karlo Marx Howled
Which Allen Ginsberg wrote under the influence of rice and dal

I said "Mr. Kerouac, tell me what was the matter?"
You rediscovered America but your life slowly shattered
You died in Saint Petersburg as your stomach hemorrhaged
Was it any better than Mama Cass choking on a ham sandwich?

I dreamed I saw John Lennon die again in New York City
Mark David Chapman was standing over him trying to look pretty
The next day was a snow day and we all stayed home from school and cried
It shook me to the core just like the day my mother died

I dreamed I saw JFK listening to seductive Marilyn
With his wife standing by she had to take it on the chin
He could do no wrong so no one dare call it a sin
But when he got blown away the bloody mess fell upon Jacquelyn

Then Howard Cosell stepped up to host "This is Your Life"
He said "Telling like it is dear Gargs you've lived a lot of strife."
And he brought in my enemies who smiled and said they were my friends
They started circling 'round me like they were plotting my end

In the famous final scene Joe Fraizer started looking queasy
A livid poetic Ali said "I will not go down so easy."
Jackie Robinson stood up to the plate with confidence
He ran the bases so well the country had to deal with the consequence

Then John Lennon rose from the dead and said "We're no longer bigger than Jesus."
The pope breathed a sigh of relief and said "Brother John, you've finally pleased us."
George Hari-son started chanting "Hare Krishna" while sitting in a lotus
But the day had grown so dark only the sharpest eyes could notice


Wheels Inside of Wheels

The endless loop of seven days
Keeps going round and round
Decades have passed in the same cycle
Yet I wake up to each new day

Start again Monday
Another week's grind
Depending on your attitude
You can get ahead
Or fall behind

Tuesday is good
For the good fight
Hard brisk walk
In a strong red shirt
By now I've surrendered
To the week's work

Wednesday is cunning
I like it for conversation
Suspended in the middle
Sharing the rocking boat with friends
We won't let each other fall overboard

Thursday I'm already turning the corner
Very big and a little slow
Afternoon yawns with rain falling down
Nowhere to nap so I carry on

Friday
Is the best day
When the zest for life awakens
And the weekend in front of you
The fever runs high
With good moods for all
But if you overindulge you'll regret it

Saturday is sided by cushions
Don't dare apply pressure today
Unless you're massaging my neck and back
Sunny afternoons
Hit the town for the night
Friends and dates and day trips

Sunday is bonus time
Having our fill of work and fun
We rest and relax
And prepare for the new cycle
When doors reopen
And lists are made

Everyday is new and old to me
As I round the corner in my own life-cycle
Wheels spinning inside of wheels
Repeated birth and death

Monday, February 9, 2009

Good Boredom Gone Bad

Black and white TV
The rotary phone
Hurt the edge of my finger
When I was alone

No channels coming in
Better adjust the rotor
As that hopeful dial tone
Amalgamates with the motor

Nothing much doing
Maybe Gilligan's Island
That wood-chopper skipper
Little-buddy deriding

The poor buffoon
Getting hit with that hat
Is getting older to me
Than the purr of my cat

Joe gets out of prison
Says "There's fun to be had."
It takes just a few hours
To go from boring to bad

Stems and seeds on the table
Rolling Panama Gold
Though the splint is afire
It's a heat growing cold

Pilgrim's Promise

John Wayne brought his pilgrim
Whose ship had gone down
Along in his life boat
Toward Long Island Sound

The statue pulled strong
Despite the cowboy's resistance
"Do you really believe
That's liberty in the distance?"

"I've seen all there is 
Lived here all my life
You can't tame that filly
She's nobody's wife."

"Okay little fella
If that's what you want
Go chase your desires
But even big apples rot."

Sweat poured down their brows
As they both strained to row
Mr. Wayne took his hat off
His hair celluloid snow

The pilgrim jumped off
Disappeared in the core
John turned to the east
"You win again, dirty whore."

Sunday, February 8, 2009

I Try to Reach Back

There once was a time
Long ago
Whose days felt to me like the present

Now, I try to reach back
But it's fading
And it feels like part of me is dying

This moment is here like before
But what is it destined to become?
Who I am who is passing through this place?
Could I be a dreamer in some kind of a dream?

But if this life is a dream
Then I wonder
When I awake
Where will I find myself laying? 

Popcorn T.V.

"Look before you leap,"
said Martha Stewart from the cliff.
"Why did they have to lock me up
over just an inside tip?"

"Think before you drink,"
said Dr. Phil stirring the glass.
"I'll let you know all 'bout Britney
but I must first cover my ass."

"Kill two birds with one stone,"
said O.J. Simpson's straining smile.
"I've been running all my life
but now I'm limping my last mile."

"Will work for billionaires,"
said George II's bewildered grin.
"I've helped highjack the government,
the game is fixed, you cannot win."

"You are what you eat,"
said Jack La Lanne shaking his head.
"If you don't eat living foods
they will soon pronounce you dead.

I was sitting with some popcorn
Zoned-out in front of the TV
Chewing on the faults on others
When the spry man startled me

Was he in it for the money?
Was he just like all the rest?
Or was he pointing toward my faults
and all the things I can't digest?

My TV may be humming
And gossip pierces like a knife.
But if I don't want to be mistaken
I should start living my own life.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

When the Gun Sounds

When the time is right
I sit by myself
Not influenced by anyone else

When stillness falls
The murmur of verse
Squirms loaded from its bottomless mouth

When the gun sounds
I become possessed
Set off by its trigger
Like a bullet
Words move toward their target
Transformed into a sharpened grave-digger

As long as the gap of conscious thinking remains
As long as the tap remains opened
As long as I remain sequestered

I can cohort with invisible forces
And witness painful but beautiful birth

Sunoco's Gone

I awoke alert
As the rays of the Sun
Penetrated my misty mind
Like the mouse police
Still and sentient
The veil of time lifted from my eyes

As countless images flooded in
I tried to focus through
What was before became the same
With what was to come anew

My hair raised up
And as time undressed
A vision appeared in my head
A futuristic age
Free of speciesism
Unraveled and collectively said

Don't walk, don't run
Drop all your guns
Reduce speed to a crawl
Look left, look right
It's out of sight
The thrill of the earth and all

In a thousand years
Sunoco's gone
But the Sun still shines in the sky
And a spaced-out goat
On his flying boat
Will laugh and "baaah" on by