Chevy Chase's Aging Face

I took a slow jog on a fast track
I shut off the lights and saw the ghost of Robert Stack
He gave me a clue about an unsolved mystery
I would have taken notes but it was kind of hard to see

I took a scary drive over a rickety bridge
I didn't look down and drove faster than Riva Ridge
I always wondered how it would feel to fall
I know I never want to experience that kind of catastrophe at all

I took an air plane flight and was scared only on take off
I read the Bhagavad-gita until we finally leveled off
I ordered a ginger ale from the shining young girl
Who asked me what I wanted in a wicked floating world

After a long day, I stretched out in my room
In the morning came the maid with her humming electric broom
I told her i didn't need her so she sadly went away
But came back with some fresh clean towels anyway

I turned the a.c. on, I shut the a.c. off
I didn't feel sick so I felt no need to cough
I dropped an Airborn tablet in a cup and watched it fizz
I fired up the internet and got ready for my next quiz

I hit the red hot road for for another crazy run
I thought back to the days when I was strong, wild and young
Perhaps I could go back but the time was running short
I saw Chevy Chase's aging face and I punched it just for sport